《十二夢》十二個黑暗可怖的「夢境」,該如何獲得救贖?

             

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小說作者:

晨羽,本名王雅佩,畢業於世新大學日本語文學系,高中時即在網路上發表第一部小說,有「暖淚系青春愛情天后」之美名,筆下文字總能使他人心頭充滿暖意。最大的願望就是能說出停留於他人心中恆長久的故事。

內容簡介:

    校園霸凌很可怕,但不知悔改的加害者與袖手旁觀的人更可怕……。    此書走的是黑暗路線,透過具有「雙重人格」的主角孫祖霖生活中的遭    遇,包括家庭問題、校園霸凌、性格缺陷等……,引領人們看透人性的不同面向,也帶領我們感受最深沉殘酷的夢境。

讀後心得與感想:

我家有晨羽全套的小說,《十二夢》可說是我最愛看的一本,也是我唯一看過第三次的小說,這本書吸引我的點在於劇情的鋪陳實在生動,讓我彷彿身歷其境,雖然看過不少與校園霸凌有關的電影,如:周冬雨與易烊千璽主演的《少年的你》(大力推薦!!)但我第一次看到有人可以用文字將畫面描繪的如此生動,著實令我大開眼界,晨羽是寫愛情故事的專家,沒想到她竟然能將親情、友情與愛情的元素融為一體,串聯得宜,令我甘拜下風。

《十二夢》是一本探討校園霸凌與親情倫理的小說。開頭以主角長期於校園中受到的殘酷霸凌事件作鋪陳,當男主將壓抑心中已久的怒氣與恥辱,在恐懼如驚濤駭浪席捲而來將其溺斃之際,他的「第二人格」竟突然出現了,而男主反擊霸凌者的那段令我心驚膽顫。雖然我在求學過程中很幸運沒有遇過霸凌事件,但這仍是當今校園層出不窮的社會案件,所以藉由閱讀這本書,讓我更明白霸凌是何等的可怕。

故事主角孫祖霖,因長期受到同儕的集體霸凌,且導師總是袖手旁觀,導致霸凌者更能無視其感受而變本加厲。有一回,當孫祖霖的頭被狠狠的壓在馬桶裡,將要斷氣之際,他的「第二人格」──阿祖出現了……。他們雖共用同一個軀殼,但旁人總能一眼察覺有異,因為他們儼然並非同一靈魂,無論言行舉止抑或眼神想法都有著天壤之別。孫祖霖的自卑懦弱與阿祖的冷酷兇悍,形成強烈的對比。阿祖殘酷冷血,對於會造成自己生命威脅者,將一概以暴力相向,甚至持武器將加害者打得遍體鱗傷,仍理所當然的認為是其罪有應得。因此,周遭的人包括其母親,總是避之唯恐不及。我認為不完全是阿祖的錯,假使當初沒有被他人霸凌的恐怖經歷,根本不會造就無法對任何人有所信任且從不帶任何情感待人的他。

校園霸凌事件層出不窮,無論是一句話抑或一個動作,都可能成為他人刻骨銘心的痛。也許當下那無心的言行舉止,只是為了達成「笑」果,或因個人心情不佳而隨意找一個人充當「沙包」。發洩情緒的「加害人」即便事後覺得愧疚而真誠的向被害人道歉,並且獲得原諒,以為在時間的洗滌下,那些不愉快的過往都將煙消雲散。或許加害人因無心而鑄成大禍的慚愧之感,確實會在時間流逝下獲得救贖。但,被害者所受的創傷,那內心的痛,卻會一直囚禁於堅不可催的桎梏中,久之讓自己因走不出由慘痛回憶所構成的泥淖中,愈陷愈深,渴望重生,那揮之不去的陰影,使其不得已只好以不正當的手段結束一生……。



隨著時代的日新月異,霸凌的方式也增加了許多,近年來因遭受霸凌的自殺率也逐漸提高,形成惡性循環。即便無從於短時間內全面杜絕,仍須從自身做起,將心比心,盡己所能主動伸出援手,幫助那些心靈被陰霾籠罩者重見光明。凡事三思而後行,切勿將自身快樂建築在他人的痛苦上。希望旁觀者遇到霸凌之事,能多些同情心,千萬別無視眼前所見,要勇於挺身而出,即便是句慰問,於被害人而言都是救贖。


本書各種寫實的內容,讓我體悟人性的真締,可能因為感情抑或環境等各種壓力累積,導致展現出醜陋的一面。社會是殘酷且現實的,但若能忠於自我,說不定能改變命運,解開囚禁自身已久的心靈枷鎖,找尋自我價值。

我們常因各種因素,不得不在與他人互動時選擇「戴面具」,隱藏自己醜陋卻是最真實的一面,目的是為了與他人相處融洽,合作愉快。但紙終究包不住火,當由他人揭發面具下的「真我」時,只會使自己更難堪,等同於將自身逼到絕境,進退兩難,不但違背自我良心,更傷了一直以來信任、支持自己者的心。最終兩敗俱傷,以悲劇收場,豈不是賠了夫人又折兵?


閱完之,我體會到大部份被霸凌者是如何度過不見天日,恐懼滅頂猶如身處人間煉獄的人生是多麼無奈、悲慘,所以我們絕不能在遇到此事時冷眼旁觀,而要見義勇為,盡己之最大能耐助被害者脫離苦海,效法書中張家揚與梁筑音兩位看似微不足道的配角──他們是協助孫祖霖走出陰影,迎向光明的關鍵人物。他們猶如海上明燈般,指引著名為祖霖的船隻,在徬徨之時尋回正確的航道。因為有他們一路上的鼓勵與陪伴,才能使祖霖擁有重拾笑容的勇氣。每個人都會經歷人生的低潮期,於此期間,他們需要的是能助其前進、向上的動力。我們不妨試著聆聽他人心中的聲音,伴其一同想方設法解決之,成為對方人生的轉捩點,並共同營造更有愛的社會氛圍。還有絕不因迎合眾人而隱藏真實的自己。活出自己不但能與他人相處更自在,還能成就更好的未來。 

《十二夢》小說 金石堂網路書局購買

晨羽小說集金石堂網路書局購買

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